bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
