just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
