dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
