just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
