Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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