mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
