Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
