the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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