Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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