you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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