Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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