barbara walters just said penis...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
