stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
