She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
