On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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