therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
