I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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