I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
