Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
