Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
