Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
