My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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