k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
