it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
