There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
