Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
