and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
