sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
