More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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