Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
