yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
