Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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