id be glad to
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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