D3 body, D1 cock
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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