is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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