You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
