no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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