i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
