all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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