But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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