During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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