Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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