Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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