so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
