Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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