Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
