this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize