i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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