I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
