Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
