On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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