Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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