Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize