when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
