Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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