Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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