$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
