his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
